Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's been awhile...

...since I posted last, but I'll be the first to admit I'm not real good at this anyway. Life has been a whirlwind as always the past few months...raising Zen, managing my home and family, taking care of myself, plus a family vacay to Vegas for Leanna's wedding. And that's just since February.

Going back to when I posted last, I had another hysteroscopy for my Asherman's Syndrome in December, which was pretty successful. We took a few months to let my cycles get back to normal and make sure things were "working correctly", and had our first Ovulation Induction/IUI treatment in March. I was so confident it was going to work: the timing was right, my body was in the best shape it could be, I responded very well to the drugs and Mike had a great sample to use...I even had the early symptoms of pregnancy (mainly the 'girls' were full/sensitive/sore a lot). But every test I took (and I took like 5 of them) were negative. I just couldn't believe it. Luckily the tests were during the week of Zen's birthday, so I had something to distract me, but after the party, it hit me pretty hard. I had been so sure that it was going to work that the fact it didn't was just too much to handle. I was doubting a lot, questioning a lot, all the normal responses. But I just kept reminding myself that I gave this part of my life to God awhile ago, and I just need to keep doing that. He obviously has a plan and answers prayers (the curly blond beside me is proof of that), so I just need to keep living my best life possible and wait for when HE says the timing is right. It's not easy, that's for sure, but it's all I can do.

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