So I've made the decision to become a consultant for Tastefully Simple! I love the products, love to cook, and think I can be pretty successful with it. Time will tell if the money will come in like I hope it will, but I'll never know what it can be if I don't take the first step! Mike isn't 100% behind the idea, but we talked last night and I think he understands this is something I need to try. He's concerned about the time management part of it (which is a valid concern because that isn't necessarily a strong point of mine) and worried that it'll 'take over' things like Zen and the house and the gym (again, a valid concern to have since I started my Mary Kay business that way). But I've learned my lessons based on those past mistakes and the only way to proove it to him is to go do this and not make those mistakes again. :)
On a side note, my parents had a hearing yesterday about the PFA order my Mom took out. According to her, the whole thing went very smoothly (the lawyers talked it all out and no one had to testify). The only change that was made is that my brother can now be a third-party between them so that Mom can start getting things to Daddy for the business, and for Daddy to give her anything at the house that she may need. Mom sounds like she's doing well, and is taking things a day at a time and working out her steps for where she goes from here. I need to call Daddy at some point today and check in on him. My brother probably won't talk to me since he hung up on me last week (I'm not driving up to see my Mom like he thinks I need to), but I should make sure my sister is updated on things from yesterday (she's apparently still not talking to my Mom, but that's for the 2 of them to figure out).
So, that's my update for today. Continued prayers for my family would be appreciated, and if you could add one for me as I take my new steps I'd really appreciate that as well! :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
A new reality
My life took a turn for change on Friday: my parents are seperated. Technically, my Mom moved out and left my Dad. And to make things even more surreal, she left and filed a "Protection From Abuse" or PFA order against him.
Both of my parents have a temper. My mom's comes out when she's overly stressed or is really anxious about things (at those times little things that make her mad make her lose it). My dad's will come out after he's been dealing with things for a long time...a LONG time. He keeps his anger/frustration inside until it pretty much explodes out of him. Needless to say, neither one is a pretty site.
But I guess after 34 years, my mom decided she had enough. Both of them told me at different times that one of the reasons they've stayed together all this time was for us kids. Now that the 3 of us are all on our own, Mom figured she didn't need to stay anymore. Why she felt the need to leave this way, only she knows for certain. The rest of us are left to wonder why, and deal with the aftermath.
I talked to both of them today. Mom is still stressed about a number of things but is somewhere she feels safe and is doing as well as can be expected. Daddy is hurt, shocked, but overall OK. My sister is pretty POd at my Mom, so there's going to be some work needed on that relationship. My brother is inadvertently getting pulled into the whole mess by my Dad because he really has no one else to help him right now (and considering my brother lives next door to him and works for/with him, I can't say I'm surprised). Me? I'm still trying to believe this is all really happening. Worried about how this whole thing is going to play out and how nasty it's going to get (praying to God that it doesn't, of course). I'm trying to be there for both of them...helping them both when and how I can without being in the middle. I just want both of them to get through this and move on with their lives. There's no reconciliation happening - I knew that the minute I heard about the whole thing. I just really want them both to be happy. One more thing to add to my prayers....
Both of my parents have a temper. My mom's comes out when she's overly stressed or is really anxious about things (at those times little things that make her mad make her lose it). My dad's will come out after he's been dealing with things for a long time...a LONG time. He keeps his anger/frustration inside until it pretty much explodes out of him. Needless to say, neither one is a pretty site.
But I guess after 34 years, my mom decided she had enough. Both of them told me at different times that one of the reasons they've stayed together all this time was for us kids. Now that the 3 of us are all on our own, Mom figured she didn't need to stay anymore. Why she felt the need to leave this way, only she knows for certain. The rest of us are left to wonder why, and deal with the aftermath.
I talked to both of them today. Mom is still stressed about a number of things but is somewhere she feels safe and is doing as well as can be expected. Daddy is hurt, shocked, but overall OK. My sister is pretty POd at my Mom, so there's going to be some work needed on that relationship. My brother is inadvertently getting pulled into the whole mess by my Dad because he really has no one else to help him right now (and considering my brother lives next door to him and works for/with him, I can't say I'm surprised). Me? I'm still trying to believe this is all really happening. Worried about how this whole thing is going to play out and how nasty it's going to get (praying to God that it doesn't, of course). I'm trying to be there for both of them...helping them both when and how I can without being in the middle. I just want both of them to get through this and move on with their lives. There's no reconciliation happening - I knew that the minute I heard about the whole thing. I just really want them both to be happy. One more thing to add to my prayers....
Friday, April 16, 2010
Rough day (days)...
Not sure why, but the past couple days have been rough. Even Mike noticed I was off last night (I bit the poor guy's head off just because he mentioned it was hot in the house last night). It's been a pretty easy-going week for me - not a lot going on, was able to get some things done in the house and stay on top of others. Zen has been extra fussy the past few days, but I'm blaming allergies and teething for that. I just keep having this uneasy feeling that I'm pregnant. Uneasy because if I am, I should have stayed on the one medication I stopped 2 weeks ago and at that time should have started a new and even more important one. Over the past few days 'the girls' have been sore again, and today I could only eat half of my oatmeal before it became VERY unappealing and my appetite just died. I also got into a funk over the past couple days. Hormones, maybe? I'm half way through my cycle so it could just be ovulation, but my body normally never has these reactions or symptoms to that. I'm thinking a trip to the store this morning for some pee sticks is needed, but then there's the feeling that if it's negative (again...) then it's just a waste of money and one more thing to be bummed about.
So, take all that and add to it that we're trying to get our financials in better shape (i.e. get spending under control) so we can get some things paid off before baby #2 shows up, but not forgetting that if we go through fertility treatments again next month it's another $2500+ that we'd have to put on a card since we don't have that in cash... Yeah, it's kinda hard to be positive and happy right now...
So, take all that and add to it that we're trying to get our financials in better shape (i.e. get spending under control) so we can get some things paid off before baby #2 shows up, but not forgetting that if we go through fertility treatments again next month it's another $2500+ that we'd have to put on a card since we don't have that in cash... Yeah, it's kinda hard to be positive and happy right now...
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
It's been awhile...
...since I posted last, but I'll be the first to admit I'm not real good at this anyway. Life has been a whirlwind as always the past few months...raising Zen, managing my home and family, taking care of myself, plus a family vacay to Vegas for Leanna's wedding. And that's just since February.
Going back to when I posted last, I had another hysteroscopy for my Asherman's Syndrome in December, which was pretty successful. We took a few months to let my cycles get back to normal and make sure things were "working correctly", and had our first Ovulation Induction/IUI treatment in March. I was so confident it was going to work: the timing was right, my body was in the best shape it could be, I responded very well to the drugs and Mike had a great sample to use...I even had the early symptoms of pregnancy (mainly the 'girls' were full/sensitive/sore a lot). But every test I took (and I took like 5 of them) were negative. I just couldn't believe it. Luckily the tests were during the week of Zen's birthday, so I had something to distract me, but after the party, it hit me pretty hard. I had been so sure that it was going to work that the fact it didn't was just too much to handle. I was doubting a lot, questioning a lot, all the normal responses. But I just kept reminding myself that I gave this part of my life to God awhile ago, and I just need to keep doing that. He obviously has a plan and answers prayers (the curly blond beside me is proof of that), so I just need to keep living my best life possible and wait for when HE says the timing is right. It's not easy, that's for sure, but it's all I can do.
Going back to when I posted last, I had another hysteroscopy for my Asherman's Syndrome in December, which was pretty successful. We took a few months to let my cycles get back to normal and make sure things were "working correctly", and had our first Ovulation Induction/IUI treatment in March. I was so confident it was going to work: the timing was right, my body was in the best shape it could be, I responded very well to the drugs and Mike had a great sample to use...I even had the early symptoms of pregnancy (mainly the 'girls' were full/sensitive/sore a lot). But every test I took (and I took like 5 of them) were negative. I just couldn't believe it. Luckily the tests were during the week of Zen's birthday, so I had something to distract me, but after the party, it hit me pretty hard. I had been so sure that it was going to work that the fact it didn't was just too much to handle. I was doubting a lot, questioning a lot, all the normal responses. But I just kept reminding myself that I gave this part of my life to God awhile ago, and I just need to keep doing that. He obviously has a plan and answers prayers (the curly blond beside me is proof of that), so I just need to keep living my best life possible and wait for when HE says the timing is right. It's not easy, that's for sure, but it's all I can do.
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