Sunday, April 18, 2010

A new reality

My life took a turn for change on Friday: my parents are seperated. Technically, my Mom moved out and left my Dad. And to make things even more surreal, she left and filed a "Protection From Abuse" or PFA order against him.

Both of my parents have a temper. My mom's comes out when she's overly stressed or is really anxious about things (at those times little things that make her mad make her lose it). My dad's will come out after he's been dealing with things for a long time...a LONG time. He keeps his anger/frustration inside until it pretty much explodes out of him. Needless to say, neither one is a pretty site.

But I guess after 34 years, my mom decided she had enough. Both of them told me at different times that one of the reasons they've stayed together all this time was for us kids. Now that the 3 of us are all on our own, Mom figured she didn't need to stay anymore. Why she felt the need to leave this way, only she knows for certain. The rest of us are left to wonder why, and deal with the aftermath.

I talked to both of them today. Mom is still stressed about a number of things but is somewhere she feels safe and is doing as well as can be expected. Daddy is hurt, shocked, but overall OK. My sister is pretty POd at my Mom, so there's going to be some work needed on that relationship. My brother is inadvertently getting pulled into the whole mess by my Dad because he really has no one else to help him right now (and considering my brother lives next door to him and works for/with him, I can't say I'm surprised). Me? I'm still trying to believe this is all really happening. Worried about how this whole thing is going to play out and how nasty it's going to get (praying to God that it doesn't, of course). I'm trying to be there for both of them...helping them both when and how I can without being in the middle. I just want both of them to get through this and move on with their lives. There's no reconciliation happening - I knew that the minute I heard about the whole thing. I just really want them both to be happy. One more thing to add to my prayers....

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